Quick Post November 5, 2009

Here’s a quick post….becuase I’m sitting in the coffee shop and they are about to close but I don’t want to leave yet and not enough time to start something else to work on.

I found out last week the source of my leg pain (so they think.) I got to see the 1st X-ray in 3 years.  Guess what… I have a broken leg! That would explain it.  The little bone, fibula, never grew completly back together after the 2002 accident.  Why its bothered me more in the last 6 months we don’t know.

You can see the rod in my big bone, Tibia, which seems to be healed alright, and the break in the fibula.  It was originally broke in 2 places and the top part rejoined by itself… the bottom was supposed to but didn’t (as you can see.)

Yesterday I had a bone scan done where they place radioactive fluids in you and take lots and lots of scans (1 every 4 seconds) to figure out the ‘hot spots’.  It was interesting. I find out in 2 weeks from yesterday (nov. 18) if I’ll be having surgery to place a plate and pins in.  Its about 75 -25 in favor of surgery.  Not great odds.  Anyway very busy with doctor apts and work and everything but just wanted to update when I had a minuet. Ok Moca’s is closing in 5 min I better head out.  Here’s to good sipping!

 

Hakuna Matata October 20, 2009

If only it meant no worries for the rest of my days…….

I’m a little emotional tonight I must say and honestly, I don’t know why.  I’m sure there are millions of reasons.

1.) I’m fighting with a friend 2.) I’m a girl 3.) I’m on antidepressants for a severe pain medication 4.)I’m in the process of quitting the antidepressant meds 5.) Somehow this week lines of communication have opened with someone I’m not sure I’m ready to talk to. 6.)I’m excited to go to Waco and see Angela & Matt Friday 7.)I’m in pain even as I type 8.) The one person I’d love to see & talk to I won’t get to see or talk to for another week.

But who really knows? lol

I went to the doctor today.  We’re stopping the anti-depressants and going back on the tramadol.  Neither worked so I’m not torn one way or the other.  However we’re adding a 3rd thing into the mix…..Pain Patches.  This is a new and exciting attempt.  I’ve also agreed to see another ortho. I’ve been holding back because I 1/2 know and am 1/2 scared of what any ortho will tell me.  I try to be this strong person who can take on the world…but if you tell me I’m limited its going to put a blow to this confidence that I’ve worked so hard to build up. Ironically my iTunes is playing Creed -”Are you ready for what’s to come” right now. I’m tired of being in pain, I’m tired of facing this, I’m wishing it was over, I’m dreading the words “it will never be over”.  I know the Ortho will tell me there’s not much we can do and I’ll have to live with this.  Its what I heard years ago. I’m not willing to accept that I have this thing holding me back.  I don’t want to be the person who can’t stand for long periods of time, who can’t play sports, who CAN’T EVER RUN. All I really want to do is run.

So I’m fighting with a close friend and hate myself for it.  I don’t like to be this way.  It was thing after thing that built up and finally exploded when she broke the handle of my car door off. If you have no respect for me, no respect for my time, emotions, feelings, and now property how can I respect you in return? Its been a few days now and I’ve calmed down a little.  She did finally call and apologize to my voicemail 2 days later. I think I just need some time apart and I think that’s what I plan on doing….taking time for myself.

Ok enough pitty party.  I’m very excited for the end of this week.  Thursday the folks are coming and we’re heading out for Waco! We’ll swing through Hutch for a few hours with the grandparents and then go 1/2 way and spend the night somewhere.  Friday afternoon we’ll be in Waco!!!!!!! I’m really really excited. We’re driving back Monday so it won’t be the longest trip ever but I’ll take it!

I think A Change Would Do You Good… October 13, 2009

So I changed the look of my blog.  Not sure if I like it yet but its definitly different. 

As I sit at work killing time before I go to swim at the Y I just fester more and more about something I’ve decided to get off my chest………

At work they have decided to bring back monthly production awards.  We are supposed to pick 3 of our production peices every month to submit for judging.  They used to have something like this but it wasn’t mandatory or at least not enforced.  I would enter production when I deemed it outstanding.  I work hard at my job but most of the time don’t see my work as outstanding so I didn’t submit very often.  1 employee was the only one submiting on a regular basis.  They’ve brought it back and made it mandatory now… we must have 3 in each month. 

The worst part about this is that I know the motives behind it.  We’ve heard before that our production isn’t as good as ‘the jones’. They wont come out and say it but its to create competition in us and drive us to try harder.  What lights my fire is they don’t recognize that we may be already trying hard-er.  That its not always the production but maybe the copy… maybe JUST maybe if our work loads were smaller or if the copy was better would our production be better.  This does not push me to be better it makes me want to be worse.  I don’t like this change.  I work hard and do my best in so many areas of, and I’ll use the term loosly, “my job”.  I continuously get more things on my plate that are not even remotly related to my job but I do them and do them well.  I even strive for the best at each thing but when what I get in return is this silly compitition it is like fuel to my fire.  Don’t stop and take a look at what else could lead to the bettering of production or even bettering of the company just throw that blame on over here at us peeons that’s just fine.  Yes I will participate and will submit my mandatory 3 but its not going to make me try any hader when I’m already trying to give it my all.  Thanks for noticing….

Not that I’m upset or anything.

Love the Rain! October 8, 2009

Its a beautiful day full of beautiful rain!

So I’m killing time waiting until 3 so I can swim.  I’ve been keeping it up now.  I really enjoy it and really get a fairly good workout.  I have different excercises I do and swim laps.  I have really grown to enjoy it.   Just not the time I have to kill waiting to go do it.

On a different note my mom called me today and says “If I die on the highway, DON’T put up a cross!” lol That has got to be the most random thing ever to come out of my mother’s mouth.  I was stunned and just responded… “Do you plan to die on the highway?”  lol.  Oh it still makes me laugh hours later.  She was so serious about it though.  When I asked why it was such a big deal she responded “I AM NOT JESUS! I didn’t die on a cross!”  And my thoughs were… well no you’d have died on the highway not a cross.. but I didn’t dare say that.  I said “No mom you are not Jesus.  I guess I understand your point.  How about we put up a wreath.”  LOL!! She says, “EW! No I don’t want a wreath either!”  I said “what do you want mom a Harley emblem or bike cut out?” Finally I got her to laugh a little and she said something along the lines of that she’ll die with a smile on her face. What a strange conversation.  But I decided when I die… DON’T put up a cross! LOL!

Howdy Strangers! September 23, 2009

So like normal its been a long time since my last post. 

I’ve got a little free time to kill this afternoon so I thought… “why not”. 

What have  I been up to lately…… ummm not much.  Basically working lots.  Pulling lots of long days and dodging the people that I don’t get along with.  I’m getting pretty good at that last one… or at least pretending I get along with them.  Who’s the fool in this situation… me or them?  The world may never know. 

 

I’ve recently taken up swimming.  No I’m not out on the beach having a grand ole time.  I’m at the Y kickin’ it with the old folks.  My leg pain has been unbearable the last few months and I’ve tried multiple prescription pain killers that do nothing for me.  I still want to run like no body’s business but know that I can’t.  I decided the only exercise that wouldn’t bother my leg more would be swimming.  I started swimming a week ago.  I’ve been 3 times now and plan on going  3 times a week.  Monday, Wednesday, & Friday.  Sometimes Friday gets moved to Thursday because of work.  The YMCA has “4th graders learn to swim” from 12-3 every day.  Why 4th graders need to learn I’ll never know and why they aren’t in school from 12-3 every day still grinds my gears.  From 4-6 is “Chapman afterschool something er ather” So I’ve got this nice tiny incontinent window from 3-4 that I go swim with the old people who are a HOOT to watch by the way.  This one lady doesn’t look like she’s moving and then you look away and look back and she’s 1/2 way down the pool! I laugh every time.

I’ve also recently joined the church Choir.  Not many people know that.  I’m just trying it right now.  I started last Wednesday and then we sang in church on Sunday.  We meet Wednesday nights at 6:45 in Salina.  This means however that I’m driving to Salina at least 3 times a week now.  Not sure that’s a fantastic idea but it’ll work for now.

I guess that’s about all.  I’ve been trying to memorize some verses with a friend starting from A and going to Z a verse for each letter.  I’m failing though. I’ve also started reading “A Lady in Waiting”  which is a womans devotional book to draw her closer to God while she’s living the single life.  It by no means, means that I’m waiting for some guy…come on we all know my views on marriage.  Anyway… that’s about it I guess.  I’m off to the post office and then to go swimmin’ with the oldies…. not to be confused with sweatin’ with the oldies….

June Update June 9, 2009

HEY THERE!

Ok so its been awhile… my apologies.

Been really busy latley and not a whole lot of free time.  You know the drill when you finally get the free time you use it to sleep, eat, watch House, and play Wii and really not a whole lot of that either.

Working lots of hours these days. Last week I went in early every day and stayed late every day as well. Just lots to do and not so many people around to do them.  Its our busy time right now so its a little understandable.  Still feels like about 3 employees total though.   Lost 1 full time and 1 part time employee in the last few weeks (are loosing I guess I should say).  Which doesn’t help the work load much. We started a new thing with texting this past few weeks.  I guess its my baby.  i’m not really happy about that but what’s a girl to do?  Feel a little nervous and responsible though when/if something goes wrong with it.  Only because its been placed in my lap for the last 5 months and now its in action & apparently I’m in charge. As of yesterday I’m scheduled for 6 remotes in the next 2 weeks. More to come for sure.  Just needing a vacation that’s all. No time to take one right now.

Saturday I threw a bridal shower for Teresa.  I think it went well.  Just over 45 people showed up.  Lots of work but hopefully it was successful.  Getting things all lined up for the other wedding events.

Having some major pain in my leg again.  It happens usually about once a week all year round and this time of year a little more often because of the unsettled weather but normally not this bad or often.  I did go running on it a few weeks ago which ALMOST killed me.  I was litterally in tears as I limped back to my house.  I made a few calls and was told I’d never run again.  that stinks.  My leg’s been hurting a ton this week.  Almost constant for the last 3 days and keeping me from getting sleep. Going to have to do something if this keeps up.

This kind of sounds like a downer update but really things are pretty good.  Work is going good just busy, life outside of work is good too spending some good time with friends and really enjoying life…maybe not to the fullest but fairly close. lol.  Hope all is well with all of you!

2 Years May 14, 2009

Well I made it 2 years!  Today marks 2 years for me at my job!  Things are going pretty well. Not to many complaints.  I never thought I’d have the responsibilities at work that I have today.  I’m not always sure I’d like them but I appreciate the trust and respect.  It seems crazy to already be 2 years for me.  Here’s to 2 more…..

IRS = Idots Running Stuff May 3, 2009

I finally received my tax refund check this weekend.  To be exact I received it in the mail on Saturday. This is important to note… I received it on SATURDAY MAY 2nd.

Now since the mail is federal there are no postage dates on the envelopes.  This is important as well.  Ok throw out the idea of how late I’m getting it…. its partly my fault.  The odd part about the whole thing is the dates on the documents compared to each other  and compared to the date I received the documents.

Here’s the check….

It may be hard to see but it is dated May 1 2009.  This presents the first issue…. if its printed  May 1st there is no possible way for me to receive it May 2nd. No way does the mail system work that fast.  The only explanation for this I can come up with is that they post dated their checks. Which begs the question, since when does the federal government post date checks?  moving on…

The next issue.. I opened the second envelope I happened to receive in the mail also Saturday, May 2nd…. it was a letter from the IRS (Department of Treasury) that says they will be mailing my refund check and I should receive it in about 3 weeks.  Now Waaaaaaiiit a minute…. they will be mailing it?  I should receive it in about 3 weeks??  A little strange I opened the check before I even got the letter saying it was coming.  crreeeepppyyy.  The other strange thing about the letter…. the date.  AGAIN WITH THE DATES!?! The date on the letter is May 4th, 2009.  So not only did they post date the check but also the letter about the check?  And then I asked myself… even IF you decide to post date both the check and the letter…. why on earth would you post date the letter LATER than the date on the check.  The letter’s about the check which is supposedly coming in the future…why would the date be after the check date.
Here’s the letter….

Aren’t you glad we’re paying these guys?????

Spring has Sprung March 28, 2009

Glad to see that spring has sprung.  I took this picture this morning in the middle of my front yard.  Its my ruler in the snow.  The yard is pretty even so I don’t think its in a snow drift looks close to 8 inches give or take a little.  The front porch measures over 5 inches but its protected by the house quite a bit.  Here’s the porch…

Nothing compared to SW and W Kansas!  But still a good amount of snow.  So glad that spring is here.

UPDATE:  5:45pm – So the sun came out which helped melt some of the snow.  Street looks alright…messy but alright. So I ventured out to my driveway and spent some quality time with my MP3 player and shovel.

Not beautiful …but I’m tired. So there ya go that’s as good as it gets.  I’m tired now.

Uncommon March 17, 2009

So I’ve felt very motivated latley to change my life.  I tribute it the study we have recently started in our homegroup.  Its by Chip Ingrum and its called the miricle of life change.  Our studies have been going really good latley and very motivating.  Also a big part of this is our newest member in our homegroup.  Zach is his name.  I think he is inspiering us all.

During the first session of this study we had to name a few things we’d like to change in our lives.  I mentioned something I’ve struggled with for a long time.  Confidence.  I’d love to have some confidence….or a little more at least.  I don’t want to be over confident or anything but I do want some form of confidence.  Zach recommended a book for me to read.  Although it wont find the confidence in me by just reading it, It could inspire me or at least point me in the right direction.

I’ve started reading this book and so far I am really enjoying it.  The book is Uncommon by Tony Dungy.  Dungy is the Colts football head coach.  He’s written a number of books but I believe this is his most recent one.  Its about finding your significance.  He is a christian and is very spiritual.  The whole book is directed to focusing on your gifts, and talents and living your life an uncommon way with the confidence in your abilities.  Granted I’m only about half way through the book so far but I’m very interested.  I NEVER read but this has got me reading like crazy.  I know it’s not going to just hand over my confidence to me, but I do believe that will help me in my search for it.