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Hakuna Matata October 20, 2009

Filed under: Random — joopen @ 7:07 pm
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If only it meant no worries for the rest of my days…….

I’m a little emotional tonight I must say and honestly, I don’t know why.  I’m sure there are millions of reasons.

1.) I’m fighting with a friend 2.) I’m a girl 3.) I’m on antidepressants for a severe pain medication 4.)I’m in the process of quitting the antidepressant meds 5.) Somehow this week lines of communication have opened with someone I’m not sure I’m ready to talk to. 6.)I’m excited to go to Waco and see Angela & Matt Friday 7.)I’m in pain even as I type 8.) The one person I’d love to see & talk to I won’t get to see or talk to for another week.

But who really knows? lol

I went to the doctor today.  We’re stopping the anti-depressants and going back on the tramadol.  Neither worked so I’m not torn one way or the other.  However we’re adding a 3rd thing into the mix…..Pain Patches.  This is a new and exciting attempt.  I’ve also agreed to see another ortho. I’ve been holding back because I 1/2 know and am 1/2 scared of what any ortho will tell me.  I try to be this strong person who can take on the world…but if you tell me I’m limited its going to put a blow to this confidence that I’ve worked so hard to build up. Ironically my iTunes is playing Creed -“Are you ready for what’s to come” right now. I’m tired of being in pain, I’m tired of facing this, I’m wishing it was over, I’m dreading the words “it will never be over”.  I know the Ortho will tell me there’s not much we can do and I’ll have to live with this.  Its what I heard years ago. I’m not willing to accept that I have this thing holding me back.  I don’t want to be the person who can’t stand for long periods of time, who can’t play sports, who CAN’T EVER RUN. All I really want to do is run.

So I’m fighting with a close friend and hate myself for it.  I don’t like to be this way.  It was thing after thing that built up and finally exploded when she broke the handle of my car door off. If you have no respect for me, no respect for my time, emotions, feelings, and now property how can I respect you in return? Its been a few days now and I’ve calmed down a little.  She did finally call and apologize to my voicemail 2 days later. I think I just need some time apart and I think that’s what I plan on doing….taking time for myself.

Ok enough pitty party.  I’m very excited for the end of this week.  Thursday the folks are coming and we’re heading out for Waco! We’ll swing through Hutch for a few hours with the grandparents and then go 1/2 way and spend the night somewhere.  Friday afternoon we’ll be in Waco!!!!!!! I’m really really excited. We’re driving back Monday so it won’t be the longest trip ever but I’ll take it!

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Oh-so-emotional February 14, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — joopen @ 9:54 pm
Tags: , ,

So I had all these things lined up to get done today.  Really had the intent to do them as well.  However I didn’t really get to any of them.

Got up around 10 (which rocked) and just chilled at home. All morning did next to nothing.  Watch a lot of movies on TV cooked some lunch and then continued with the TV movies through the afternoon.  This evening I cooked dinner and watched a movie I had from Netflix.  It was slightly emotional.   I ran to Sonic got a slushie and ice cream cone and came back home.  Round 2 the second movie that I have in from Netflix.  VERY emotional movie.  Right now I’m feeling like I’m on emotion overload.  Who knew I had so many different emotions and could have them all roughly at the same time??  I’m usually not an emotional kind of person but honestly right now I dont’ know what to say.  Its all right there on the surface, nothing holding me back. Don’t get me wrong I’m not balling or anything just feeling very emotional and Mixed emotions at that.

Maybe its all the movies in one day.  Maybe that’s a bad idea.  This must be what it feels like to be one of those people who actually has emotions all the time……. not sure I could handle it.  Not sure I can handle it right now either.  I think I’ll call it a night and just go to bed. Maybe all my emotions can go away by the time I wake up and everything will be back to normal again right?

 

“The roller coaster weekend” June 30, 2008

Filed under: Random — joopen @ 2:07 pm
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Its been said for years that life is like a roller coaster of emotions. This weekend proves that to be very true!

Friday got woken up by a text at 8:30am for taco tico.  Went to work around 10am got things ready and headed out to country stampede.  It was hot, muddy, and full of indecent exposure.  But I had a good time hanging out with our Sales intern Ashely.  Got back to work around 5:30 to do production and then my show.  All in all not a bad day.  Had a killer show.  No really, one of the best in a while.  It was spiked by an early phone call saying I was doing a great job.  I guess the confidence boost helped.

Saturday I hung around my house did a little cleaning. Washed my car, aired up the tires, got groceries, shopped at the ever so famous Alco, and then baked TONS! I was in a great mood just enjoy the day!! I baked a coffee cake, burrito bites, creamy Crockpot corn, and Special K cookies. Had a great day!

Sunday I got up early and drove to Salina for church. Met some new people in Sunday school and then went to lunch with an awesome friend. Later I get a call from another friend saying she’s got big news. I go hang out with her for awhile to find out that she got a job!!!! THATS AWESOME NEWS!!!!! Totally excited for her!! And then the bad news…. she’s moving. That’s horrible news. ok so not for her but for me! PLUS one of my other friends is moving with her. Now 2 friends are moving away! And just like that my weekend is crushed. Later I get a phone call that put the biggest of biggest smiles on my face. I excuse myself from my friends and head out talking on the phone. About an hour later I hang up only to see that same person that makes me very happy. Spent an hour and a half talking in the parking lot (what else is new) and just like that I’m back up to happy-go-lucky.

I feel like the weekend was full of ups and downs…. it was my roller coaster weekend.